Day 8: Voice

Well, y’all, we’ve made it – to Friday, through a whole week of a new year, through 7 full days of blogging here with Another 100 Days of Hannah.
Was New Years really just a week ago?
Anyone else feel like 2020 was an eternity ago at this point, and it already feels like we’ve been in 2021 for months?
In any case… I’m not sure what to write about this morning.
Imagine that.
Whenever I freak out about not have something to say though, I’m reminded of what Jesus said in Mark 13:11 when talking to His disciples:
Whenever you are arrested and brought to trial, do not worry beforehand about what to say.  Just say whatever is given you at the time, for it is not you speaking, but the Holy Spirit.
Not to say that this is comparable to being arrested and brought to trial, or that my words equate to the Holy Spirit speaking, but I more that I can trust that the Father will me in what I write, that it may glorify Him, and lift up others.
So, let’s see where this goes today.
Yesterday I mentioned that I’m an enneagram nine – often classified as the “peacemaker”, due to the constant inward strive for peace.
I also mentioned that this peace often comes at the price of silence.
It’s much easier to silence my own thoughts and ideas and opinions, letting others be more vocal and decisive, rather than letting my voice be heard at the cost of conflict with others – or worse, being blown off, discounted, and ignored.
And so, admittedly, it can be easy to forget what my voice even sounds like.
As a blogger, I’ve wondered many times why I can so easily write down thoughts and publish them publicly, when the same thoughts I would literally struggle to convey in person to my closest friends.  I mean, it seems backwards, right?  How can I be willing to be so open to people who I may never know, but struggle in saying the same things to those whom I hold dear.
And, as I think about it more, I wonder if it all comes down to voice.
When I write, I have time to find my words.
There’s no pressure of conversation.
There’s no wondering what the other person feels or how they will respond.
There’s no watching them, wondering if I’ve said the wrong thing by simply being me.
There’s no fear of showing emotions – something else that I significantly struggle with.  The only one who sees me is my Father… and my computer screen 🙂
And so, in the silence of my own space, I am freed to, for once, find my own voice, and attempt to share it with all of you.
As I write this, I’m sure I’m not alone in having difficulty finding and sharing my voice.
For those of you who share this struggle, I want you to know:
You are important.
You make a difference.
Your voice is important.
You were beautifully and uniquely created by the Father above, and He has good plans and a purpose for your and your life.
I know that speaking and sharing, or sometimes even hearing, your voice may be hard, but you were given thoughts and dreams and passions for a reason.
Don’t let your fear of being hurt or uncomfortable silence you.
And when you speak, let the words of your mouth and the meditation of your heart glorify the one who made you and knows you, inside and out.
Til tomorrow,
Want to read more? Here’s a link to Day 8 from my 100 Days of Hannah blog.  Check it out!
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