Day 10: Identity

Happy Sunday and Day 10 of Another 100 Days of Hannah, y’all!
Anyone else running a bit behind on this Sunday morning?
I know I am.
Let’s blame it on the rain.
Or maybe yesterday’s long day of travel.
Or maybe moderate levels of dehydration.
Or maybe, just maybe, my air mattress that I was using last night deflating around midnight, prompting me to roll over and sleep on the ground for the rest of the night.
In any case, I’m a bit tired, a bit behind, and a bit off.
C’est la vie.
But, if my thoughts seem more scatterbrained than normal, you know why.
Now, onto blogging.
What defines you?
I’m sure the answer is variable for all of you.
Maybe some of you would define yourself by your body – how you look.
Maybe others of you would define yourself by your personality, or a special quirk
Still others of you might define yourself by a certain skill, or ability that you have.
Maybe you define yourself by your career.
Regardless of what you choose, most everyone has something that they feel makes them – well, themself.
Admittedly, in my own head, I characterize myself most by my mind – my intelligence, my memory, my way of processing.
(Which feels really and sort of wrong to admit…)
Maybe it’s because from a young age that seemed to be the most valuable aspect of being me.
Maybe it’s because that’s what made me feel special – like I was worth something.
Maybe it’s because that’s the one area of my life that I was able to find some form of success.
Whatever the reason, I have found my identity for, essentially all my life, in my brain.
On the outside, this may not seem like a bad thing.
I mean, it’s lead me to become a doctor.
It’s helped me solve problems in everyday life.
It’s opened doors of opportunities that otherwise would never be possible.
But you know what else it’s done?
It’s put me in a panic when I forget even little things that I deem important.
It’s put me at odds with those who I view as competition to my self-worth and identity.
After all, if they’re better at me at what I identify myself with the most, then who am I really?
Can anyone else relate?
This morning, I’m admittedly struggling with that part of my identity.
I forgot something yesterday that, in reality was probably pretty minor, but in my mind, it feels like that one piece has caused the world to unravel.
If I lose my memory, I can’t be a doctor.
If I can’t be a doctor, then my career is wasted.
If I can’t think straight then I am… well, I’m nothing.
I won’t be good enough.
I won’t be… me.
But as my thoughts spin, I’m reminded of the words to the song “Who You Say I Am.”
    I am chosen, not forsaken.
    I am who you say I am.
    You are for me, not against me.
    I am who you say I am.

    …I’m a child of God – Yes, I am.
Y’all, it’s easy to find our identity in the things of this world – our looks, our abilities, our jobs, our families, our income, our intelligence.
But the things of this world? They will all fade.
Every. Single. One. Of. Them.
But you know what doesn’t change?
The Father’s great love for us.
The fact that He calls us His own dear children.
The price that He paid on Calvary.
Y’all, that never changes.
Because it’s never been contingent on us.
It’s not because of who we are – it’s because of who He is.
It’s a hard lesson – finding identity in Christ – one that I may never fully learn.
But, as with every lesson and every journey, it’s one that we walk out one day at a time, one step at a time,  when it’s easy and when it’s hard, trusting that the one who promised is faithful.
‘Til tomorrow,
Want to read more?  Here’s a link to my Day 10 post from 100 Days of Hannah.  Click the link to check it out!
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