Day 19: Reflection

Happy Tuesday and day 19 of Another 100 Days of Hannah, y’all!
 
This morning (as is obvious by the time that I’m writing this) is another, “let’s see if I can write a blog post before work” day.  So, since it’s almost 7a, let’s jump in.
 
To…nothing.
 
Hi.
I have a surprising amount of energy this morning, considering I didn’t get any extra sleep last night, I have 15 brand new complete exams on my schedule today, and I’m supposed to get round 2 of the vaccine this (late) afternoon.
And I didn’t really even drink any extra coffee.*
 
*Side note on the coffee: For those of you who have been following my blogging adventures for a while now, you’ll know that I have an…interesting relationship with coffee.  Most of my adult life, I have enjoyed being powered by coffee.  Not that I need it for energy – I just really like the taste.  And the added energy that it gives me.  However, after worsening panic attacks in late 2019 and early 2020, I gave up coffee for several months.  Magically (not really), my panic attacks began to improve.  I stopped shaking (as much).  I stopped feeling like passing out (as much).  And I stopped feeling nauseous 24/7. (It brought it down to like 4 hrs/day, 6 days/week?)  Win.
 
However, after somewhere around 3 months without a drop of coffee, I got bored (and wanted to lose more weight, since I also use coffee for its metabolic effects) and started drinking a pot of coffee a day.  *Cue panic attacks, increased pre-syncope, and near constant nausea.*
 
At this point, I’m back down to half a cup (literally) of coffee a day.  It’s enough that I get to enjoy the wonderful taste of straight black (or with a little MCT powder) caffeine, without overloading my system and making me some semblance of non-functional.  Win.

And no, I haven’t tried decaf.  Yes, it’s been suggested repeatedly.  Does that not feel like cheating on the real deal to anyone else?!
 
Okay, that was a long tangent.
Sorry.
In any case…what to talk about today…?
Have you ever thought about how you personally are made in God’s image?
If you haven’t, why not take a minute to ponder it?
 
We all have been made in God’s image.
Which is to say that we have all been infused with aspects of our Father.
Just like we bear resemblance to our physical parents, so we are made to carry the attributes of our heavenly Father.
 
Which, at least to me, feels like a pretty big deal.
 
As an enneagram nine (one of the greatest focuses of the enneagram is understanding how each different type mirrors the attributes of God in their lives), my longing for peace is meant to reflect God’s desire for His perfect peace – His wholeness and freedom – in every aspect of our lives.
 
However, being a mirror, isn’t always easy.
 
I tend to mirror society.
I often reflect the desires and opinions of those around me.
I find myself focused on my own feelings and selfish ambitions.
And all too quickly, I lose sight of the Father, choosing instead to hide His image in one that feels more comfortable to me, and maybe more appealing to others.
Anyone else?
It’s easy.
Really easy.
 
But maybe, just maybe, this is why we are called to fix our eyes on Christ.
 
When I was growing up, my parents repeatedly reminded me of this quote (though I’m not sure who it’s by):
 
Look around and be distressed.
Look within and be depressed.
Look to Jesus and be at total rest.
 
When we look to others, we mirror the depression and anxiety of a society that views God as just another, often inferior, option, rather than the source of our peace and life.
When we look to ourselves, we begin to mirror our sinful, selfish nature, rather than the perfect love of our Father.
However, when we look to Jesus, we see His sacrifice, His mercy and grace, His unwavering faithfulness, His almighty strength.
With Christ as our focus, the cares of this world fall away, and we are empowered to follow Him – to mirror Him.
What’s your reflection look like today?
‘Til tomorrow,

Hannah

 
 
Want to read more?  Here’s a link to my Day 19 post from 100 Days of Hannah.  Click the link to check it out!
 
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