Day 45: Thankful

Happy Sunday and Day 45 of Another 100 Days of Hannah, y’all!
First things first: apparently, I was so tired last night that I completely forgot to push the publish button on my post.
Nevertheless, I did write the post yesterday, so we’re gonna say I didn’t fail at blogging every day at day 44. *phew*
Second: I’ve got like 30 minutes to write here between first and second services, so let’s see what words come out this time.
Oh yeah, and Happy Valentine’s Day!
I’m good at missing that one, considering today marks my 27th straight Single’s Awareness Day.
But honestly, I’m not too upset about that.
However, I already wrote a post about being single back in my 100 Days of Hannah series, so I don’t really feel the need to reiterate it all – I’ll just link that at the bottom of this post in addition to my normal corresponding day link.
In any case… what to write about today?
This morning, I co-led part of worship for the first time ever at church.
And while I’ve been in front of people hundreds of times performing in some form or fashion, I still found myself nervously shaking, my throat thick, my voice cracking.
And I couldn’t help but think to myself – Hannah, what are you doing?
What are you so scared of?
After pondering it for part of the remainder of the service (and wishing that I could curl up and just disappear after the song was over), I realized that, as much as I try to deny it, I still care what people think.
I want the congregation to appreciate the music.
I want things to go well and sound well and people to be… pleased.
(Even though I’m equally as uncomfortable with compliments as criticisms and silence…)
As I thought about this desire to please, however, I was reminded what my real purpose is – to glorify God.
It’s not about how good things sound.
It’s not about how the music makes people feel.
It is simply all for the glory of God.
I am just called to give Him my heart, follow where He leads, and make a joyful noise.
And so, this morning, I get to learn to be thankful.
Thankful for my voice cracking.
Thankful for its nervous edge.
Thankful for compliments.
Thankful for criticisms.
Thankful for a God who works beauty in the imperfections.
Thankful for the chance to share my talents (used loosely) for His glory.
And with that, I should probably prep for round 2.
‘Til tomorrow,
Want to read more?  Here’s a link to my Day 45 post from 100 Days of Hannah.  Click the link to check it out!
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