Day 98: Wrestling

Happy Thursday and Day 98 of Another 100 Days of Hannah, y’al!
What to talk about today…?
Do you guys ever think about how much your life has changed over the last several years?
I’m not sure what sparked the thought, but I got to thinking…
Three years ago, I was living in Columbus and just getting ready to finish my third year of optometry school and start fourth year rotations.
Two years ago, I was living in New Mexico and climbing mountains in every spare moment. (Actually, my family was out visiting me almost two years to the day ago).
Last year, I was working as faculty at UHCO and trying to help manage virtual clinics secondary to the COVID shutdown.
And now?
Now I’m living back in the Midwest, working as a mobile optometrist, and doing… well, all the other crazy stuff that I’ve added into my life here.
It feels pretty crazy to think of all that has happened in these past three years…  who knows what’ll happen in the next three!!
From there, let’s go a little deeper.
So, in my current study, there have been several passages that have somewhat stopped me in my tracks.
The first was Psalm 44, where the psalmist was talking about how God destroyed the enemies of the Israelites and pushed them out of the land that the Israelites were taking.
The second was 2 Samuel 6, where the story of the untimely death of Uzzah at the hand of God was recorded.
In both of these passages, my immediate thought was: but… wait.  How is this fair?
How is it fair that, in Psalm, people were killed for simply not being Israelites?
Sure, it was great for God’s chosen people… but where is the kind, good, merciful God that scripture tells us of?
And with Uzzah… he was trying to do a good thing – to keep the Ark of the Covenant from falling!  And instead of being rewarded, he was struck dead on the spot for touching it?
That just seems… wrong.  On every level.
Anyone else agree?
And so, this week has been a week for wrestling.
Wrestling with faith.
Wrestling with the contrasts provided here – a good God, who also commands people to kill?  A merciful God who delivers severe, immediate punishment?
Wrestling with, in all honesty, trusting the character of God.
I’ll admit – I don’t really have much in the way of answers yet.
But I have more thoughts..
So often, I look at fairness from a human perspective – which makes sense, I’m obviously human.  But I wonder if that’s where I, where we, miss the point.  So often, suffering and death in this world is viewed as something that is unfair.  But, y’all, we weren’t made for this world.  And this life?  This is only just the beginning of our eternity.
As one of my favorite artist’s puts it – death is just the door that brings us home (to You).
With this in mind, I can’t help but wonder if death is not so great of punishment as we generally think.
That, if God is truly good, gracious, merciful, and just, these seemingly unfair situations are not the end of the story, but rather the beginning.  (1 Peter 4:6)
‘Til tomorrow,
Hannah
Want to read more?  Here’s a link to my Day 98 post from 100 Days of Hannah.  Click the link to check it out! 
 
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