Day 125: Closed Doors

Happy Wednesday and Day 125 of Another 100 Days of Hannah …and Counting, y’all!
Guys, it’s weird.  I feel like I’m becoming less of a morning person by the day.  Where mornings have always been my favorite time of day, I feel like recently, I’ve been really really struggling to get up and get out of bed in the mornings.
Maybe that’ll get better as summer comes?
Or once I actually start going to bed decent time.   That could probably help too…  (I mean, I only stayed up past my ‘bed time’ every night that I was away. Nbd, right?)
In any case, this morning has already been a morning for self-advocation (which the browser is telling me is not a word? I beg to differ.)   Last night, when I finally looked at my schedule for the next couple of weeks, I saw that I’m scheduled for another 3 hour each way drive (to a different time zone), but this time on a completely isolated day, which, I’m pretty sure was not in my contract to make.  So, this morning, another email was sent to my scheduler.  We’ll see how it works out.
From there – did I tell y’all that I had an interview at a local private practice close to a month ago?  I really don’t remember.  Regardless, I heard back a couple of days ago that they’re likely going with another doc who has more potential for long-term commitment.
I’m not 100% sure how I feel about this notification.  On one hand, I think it’s good.  The practice wasn’t someplace where I was interested in being long-term.  If anything, it would just be a bridge-job.  (Just learned that term yesterday.) It would have meant more hours for significantly less pay, but there was the promise of less stress and a shorter commute, both of which were very appealing.
And so, now that that door has closed, I guess it’s back to the drawing board.
The three things I know right now are:
1) I don’t want to be doing long commutes come winter.  In other words, I’m planning on being out of this current job by… probably December, if not earlier.
2) Some day, I want to have my own private practice.
3) There is need in the area for the skills I have to offer, and I already have several people who are waiting for me to start practicing so that they can come see me.
But, y’all, starting my own gig is honestly a bit scary.
And I’m not sure if I’m ready to pull the plug and just go for it yet.
I guess we’ll see what happens.
Catch y’all tomorrow,

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