Day 131: Trust

Happy Tuesday and Day 131 of Another 100 Days of Hannah …and Counting, y’all!
This post brought to you by nearly nine hours of sleep!

Yep, you heard that right.  I was ridiculously tired after work yesterday (and at work for that matter), so, after charting, dinner, a workout, and a walk, I laid down – even though it was only around 8:30p. And slept.
And slept and slept and slept.
You’d think that I’d be super full of energy this morning with that much sleep.  Surprise! I’m not.  Like, I’m not dragging, but I’m not running laps around the house yet either.  Regardless, I’m grateful for time to sleep without feeling like I’m ignoring someone or letting someone down.
In other news: I finally tried oat milk!
Until I became intolerant to all almond products about… 8 months ago, unsweetened vanilla almond milk was my go-to milk substitute.  (Why substitute for milk?  Because a) high in sugar b) higher in calorie, and c) I’m not a big fan of the flavor.)
However, since I’m also intolerant to all soy products, soy milk was out of the question.
And coconut milk, which I’ve tried, just has too strong of a favor.
So, I’ve been going pretty much without milk for the last, yeah, probably about 8 months.
Until yesterday, when I saw oat milk on my Walmart run (yay air fresheners) and decided to give it a go.
Thankfully, there have been no adverse reactions thus far, so I tossed a little in my half cup of coffee this morning.  
Whoop.  Tastes pretty solid.
From there though, actual morning thoughts:
Do any of y’all have trouble trusting God with the small things?
I know I do.  Even if I sometimes I like to forget about this tendency.
This morning, actually, most of this week, I’ve been worried about some small details for an upcoming trip.  Admittedly, those worries had not been brought to God.  Not because I haven’t been taught a million times that He cares about the little things too, but more because this specific thing has come up many times, and I feel like I’ve never seen Him come through.
Like, no matter how many times I’ve prayed about it, that He hasn’t answered.  At least not in the way that I wanted Him to.
And so, it’s hard for me to trust.  Trust that He hears and answers.  Trust that He cares about the small things too.
But, in scripture, we’re reminded that He cares about flowers and birds.  That He knows the hairs on our heads.  That He formed us in our mother’s womb.
And that He is faithful.
Right now, I’ll admit – I don’t want to trust that faithfulness. Because part of me is afraid that if I trust and don’t see Him move, then where will my faith be?  Will I be able to believe that He is still good? Will I be able to believe that He is still God?  Will I be able to believe that He is still faithful?
Some days, I’m not sure.
But, for today, I choose to trust Him.
And I hope you do too.
‘Til tomorrow,
Hannah

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