Day 237: Passion

Happy Wednesday and Day 237 of Another 100 Days of Hannah ...and Counting, y'all!

Do any of y’all ever take yourselves too seriously?

Hi. I’m guilty.

This evening, as I sat down and really pounded on the piano for the first time in ages, I realized that I think I’ve been taking myself too seriously recently. Most days, it feels like I’m preparing for something – trying to be someone. Not necessarily someone else, but some days it feels like I’m trying a little bit too hard for perfection – especially when it comes to my music. I mean, if I can arrange music shouldn’t everything I play be great? Shouldn’t it always come out awesome, as soon as I sit down to play?

The fact of the matter is though, that my playing is far from perfect. However, what makes it special isn’t perfection, it’s the passion. Music, for my whole life, has been one of my greatest passions. It’s been how I feel most comfortable and most confident expressing myself. Recently though, I’ve felt like I’ve been in a bit of a music block – I just haven’t been… feeling the music. I’ve been making it about a performance, not a passion. No wonder it feels like the music falls flat.

I feel like this is true in all realms of life. When our lives are fueled by perfection rather than passion, what once was beautiful, begins to fade. What once brought joy becomes bore, or worse, a chore.

This idea reminds me of a passage from Revelation 2:

These are the words of him who holds the seven stars in his right hand and walks among the seven golden lampstands. I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate wicked people, that you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not, and have found them false. You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary.

4 Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first. Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place.

I honestly don’t have the words to convey my thoughts on this this evening, so I guess I’ll just leave it here for y’all to contemplate.

Catch y’all tomorrow,