Day 207: Cultivate

Happy Monday and Day 207 of Another 100 Days of Hannah ...and Counting, y'all!

Short post alert (because I need sleep)!

So, this evening, I was working, once again, on the flower beds around my house. There’s this one section of dirt that, no matter how many times I work it, it always feels sort of impossible to make progress on. Admittedly, my general tendency is to just let it go, believing that it’s not worth the effort. Tonight though, as I was working, I began to think and pray about this area.

Why – why is this bit so hard to work?

The answer came to mind quickly – it hasn’t been cultivated in something like four years. As soon as I heard the answer, my mind jumped from soil to life.

How often are there areas in our lives that are just plain hard? The bits that never seem to make any progress, the parts where nothing really grows. It’s easy to want to avoid these areas – sticking instead with the parts of life that come easy, that show growth, that seem to be more together. However, the longer we do this, the harder the soil of our hearts becomes.

Which is to say: Y’all, our hearts, our lives – they need to be constantly and consistently cultivated through community and the word to produce fruit.

What do you want to grow today?

Catch y’all tomorrow,

Hannah

Day 206: Awkward

Happy Sunday and Day 206 of Another 100 Days of Hannah …and Counting, y’all!

This post brought to you by another flight (because what goes up must come down… or something like that).

It’s been a while since I shared an awkward moment post, so, here y’all go. Enjoy!

On this evening’s flight, I chose not to order a drink from the in-flight service. That’s not entirely unusual, as I almost always have my own bottle of water or Gatorade with me. Naturally, when the flight attendants came around with the beverages then, I saw they were around and promptly went back to listening to music with my eyes closed.

A few moments later, I feel a gentle tapping on my shoulder. It’s the kind lady next to me alerting me that the flight attendant has my drink. Confused, I take it, and proceed to take a couple sips and then sit my tray table down, figuring that somehow the flight attendant mistook my shaking my head for some drink signal, and that somehow someone must know that I need a drink that I didn’t realize.

Sprite. Not my favorite, but hey, I have it, I’ll drink it.

A few moments later, I get another tap from the lady next to me.

‘Did you order a drink?’

‘No. I was confused when I got it, but figured someone had just made a mistake so I took it.’

‘Well, my son ordered a 7-up. Can he have it?’

‘Are you sure?’ I asked, figuring she saw me take a sip.

‘Yes, we’ll take it.’

I mentally shrug my shoulders and hand it over.

Another couple of moments pass, followed by another tap.

‘Did you drink from the cup?’

‘Yes. That’s why I asked if you were sure you still wanted it.’

‘Oh. I didn’t see you take a sip…’

Long story slightly shorter… the little boy got a new cup of Sprite and mine was thrown out, leaving me to ponder how weird my seat mate must think I am, giving her son a drink that I drank out of.

As I give myself a mental beating, however, I can’t help but wonder if she’s doing the same thing – feeling dumb for insisting on giving me the drink, then taking it, then still needing a new one.

Who knows.

In any case, it’s time to listen to more music.

Catch y’all tomorrow,

Hannah

Day 204: Rest

Happy Friday and Day 204 of Another 100 Days of Hannah … and Counting, y’all!

Afternoon thoughts:

Rest is not made of beaches and sand.
Rest is not found with a cool drink in your hand.

Rest may not come with stillness of night,
Nor is it guaranteed when the sunshine is bright.

Rest is not bought with treasures or tools,
Just as it’s not taught at work or in schools.

For rest is far more than just lying in bed,
Than getting away, than clearing your head.

True rest is a posture, a position, a choice,
To step back from the chaos and hear the small voice.

The One that still quiets the waves and the wind
The One that is constant – beginning to end.

The calm amidst clamor, the strength for the weak
The One who has promised to come when we seek.

He carries our burdens – the large and the small.
With no questions or judgements, He welcomes us all.

He calls us to come – to just sit at His feet.
To drink of His goodness ‘til our journey’s complete.

It’s here we find safety, find quiet, find rest,
For here we can trust that His plans are the best.

Catch y’all tomorrow!

Hannah

Day 202: Plans

Happy Wednesday and Day 202 of Another 100 Days of Hannah ...and Counting, y'all!

So, you know how I took that power nap and was wide awake last night? Somehow, I still managed to sleep in 45 minutes after my alarm this morning. Oops!

Which is actually pretty characteristic of my day. As per (somewhat) usual, nothing went as planned.

I got around earlier than necessary, so I got gas on my way to work (which I never do). I got to the facility, only to be told after entering that I had to leave because they were shut down secondary to COVID. I was rescheduled at another facility 20 minutes down the road. Most of the patients on the schedule refused to see me, but a patient who wasn’t on the schedule was added on at noon. Nevertheless, I got out early and came home and finished charting in time to teach piano… and then hang out with the kids for 4.5 hours.

Oops.

Which I guess is all to say that today is a day where I’m being reminded to trust the Father… not my plans. Hopefully you’re having better luck with that than I am.

Catch y’all tomorrow,

Hannah

Day 201: Saved By Grace… And Power Naps

Happy Tuesday and Day 201 of Another 100 Days of Hannah ...and Counting, y'all!

So, I know I’ve touted the wonders of power naps before, but seriously y’all, if you don’t take power naps, you’re really missing out.

Like, really.

I was exhausted most of the day today. Let’s be real – I’ve been mostly exhausted for, idk, the past three weeks? I just always seem to be dragging with little energy or motivation. In any case, this evening after dinner, I was out of it, so I decided to lay down and rest for 25 minutes.

Y’all, that was probably one of the best decisions of my life.

After my nap, I had enough energy to pick up the house, transplant a flower, practice organ, do my laundry, finish mowing the yard, prep some for tomorrow, and shower. In theory, I still have enough energy to keep going longer this evening, but know that morning comes early (and I just finished my Dream which should kick in before too long).

Long story short? Take. Power. Naps.

Catch y’all tomorrow,

Hannah

Day 200: Isolation

Happy Monday and Day 200 of Another 100 Days of Hannah ...and Counting, y'all!

Whoop – 200 days down, 165 left to go. Well, if I want to make this a whole year of Hannah anyway.

First off, my apologies for the low quality content that I’ve been putting out here lately. Some days, I honestly don’t know if these random assortments of words are even worth being labeled as ‘posts’. At this point, more than anything, a year of contiguous (I think that word will work here) blogging is simply to see if I can. Maybe next year we’ll work on the content quality bit.

In any case, this past weekend, I realized I’ve been isolating… again.
Call it introversion, or escaping, or getting stuck in my head – whatever you want – the reality is that, once again, I find myself pushing away from people.

It always starts innocently enough: I’m tired. I’m overwhelmed. I’m stressed. I’m busy. I just need some time away. Slowly, but surely though, it turns into mild avoidance, and, eventually, full-scale isolation.

As my therapist reminded me today, it’s not an exactly healthy behavior.

Unfortunately, for me, isolation doesn’t really look that much different than regular life. More often than not, I’m not hiding out on my own – I’m in the same places and with the same people that I always am. I’m just not as present. My heart isn’t with it. Part of me is holding back, hiding out – hidden in plain sight.

That part? Yeah, it’s the vulnerable bits. They’re the first pieces to give up when the going gets tough. They’re the first parts to lash out when they’re poked and prodded. They’re the first bits to run away at the first hint of danger.

I would love to say that realizing this makes me want out of my self-imposed isolation, but it doesn’t. It feels safe here, though I cannot name the danger that lies without. And so, for tonight, I will stay.

Catch y’all tomorrow,

Hannah

Day 199: Normalize Humanity

Happy Sunday and Day 199 of Another 100 Days of Hannah ...and Counting, y'all!

First things first: woah. I’m back to my computer for the first time in a week. This feels weird. Also nice, but definitely weird.

From there: I told myself I was going to go to bed early tonight since I was completely exhausted from this past week/weekend. That clearly isn’t happening, considering I just started this post and it’s already almost 9:30p. Oops.

In any case, this past week, I saw an open invitation from one of my current favorite actresses to go to her yoga-based 30th birthday party. Admittedly, if I wasn’t already booked this coming weekend, I would probably be on a plane heading out to it. I mean, how often do you have a chance to go to a well-known actress’ birthday party?!

The more I think about it, the more I’ve come to realize that the greatest draw in this is not meeting someone famous and checking that off my bucket list, but more being able to see the person behind the character.

Wow – words are hard today. Let’s see if I can draw this thought together.

A couple of weeks ago, my therapist asked me if I make it a point to tell people who I am, or more, all of the activities that I am involved in. I told her ‘no’. I generally don’t care for people to know that much about me. I don’t care if people know that I’m a medical professional. I don’t care if people know that I dabble with music and writing and various physical activities – those don’t define me.

However, all of that being said, I don’t hide who I am either.

Why? Because I fully believe in the importance of normalizing the humanity in us all.

Growing up, I didn’t know any doctors. I didn’t know any lawyers. I didn’t know any actors or professors or politicians. As such, I tended to put such individuals on a pedestal – thinking them to be.. more than human (not literally).

As I entered the medical field though, I realized how flawed my reality was. These professionals? They were just people too. While some hid behind the facade of ‘doctor’ to create an air of prestige, most simply wore their title as one of many humble hats that they exchanged as necessary throughout the day. It was beautiful to see.

At this point in my life, if I’m honest, I think more of my friends carry the title ‘doctor’ than don’t. Yet somehow, with every encounter, it only emphasizes the lesson that I learned in grad school – regardless of the title, we’re all human. This is the lesson that I hope most to bring to the people – especially the children – around me.

Yes, I may be a medical professional, but that doesn’t make me any more or less human. I will still be the one who, at nearly 30, plays with the little ones like a teenager. I will be the one boarding planes in a bro tank and running shorts. I will be the one driving a tractor during planting season and the combine for harvest. I will be the one biking on Saturdays and playing organ on Sundays. Because, no matter my title, I will still be me.

Normalize humanity. Who’s with me?

Catch y’all tomorrow,

Hannah

Day 198: Luca

Happy Saturday and Day 198 of Another 100 Days of Hannah …and Counting, y’all!

Hey howdy hey – what to say today?

As I, once again, have no idea what to write, I guess this evening will be another movie plug (and poor review).

Y’all. Luca, the new Pixar movie, is incredible. It’s an adorable tale about accepting others and their differences and not being afraid to take chances and do things that you’re afraid of. If you haven’t watched it, it’s seriously a must see. 10/10 would recommend and would definitely watch again.

Which is all I have to say.

Catch y’all tomorrow,

Hannah